Sunday, November 8, 2009
Guest Post: Who wears the (sweat)pants in your relationship?
Written by Mara Weinberg (Guest Blogger)
Who wears the (sweat)pants in your relationship?
In my case that would be me. Heck come to think of it my current boyfriend and previous guys I’ve dated would probably look better in a mini skirt and tube top than I would anyway (minus my c-cup rack of course). I’m 21 years old and through my 7 years of dating I have ALWAYS been heavier than the guy that I was dating. From the first to the current, that has simply been the trend, some girls have skinny jeans, I have skinny guys. Growing up I was always the chubby one. In my defense, I’m big boned, pleasantly plump, and simply have some stubborn baby fat that just doesn’t want to leave. I would always joke around with my friends saying “Ya know if I was only a few inches taller this (pointing to my tummy and thighs) wouldn’t even be an issue, I’d be a supermodel!” The truth is, I have grown as tall as I’ll ever be (unless you want to consider stilettos) and I’ve come to embrace my curves.
At times dating was a bit difficult as I was always looking for clothes most flattering to my figure, and hey let’s face it the “muffin top” was never really “in”. I would dread going shopping and looking at what size I was that month. My weight would always fluctuate between ten and fifteen pounds over the years, and after all that time I have finally decided to do something about it. I have joined Weight Watchers and have started a walk/jog routine with a close friend to get to a “better weight“. I have been on this routine for the past 7 weeks and have lost a total of 5 pounds so far. This may not seem like a lot to some people but to me it means a lot. To see the numbers go down on the scale little by little every week feels great.
I am currently in school to become a police officer and in order to do so I must pass a physical test. This test includes climbing over a fence, running up and down stairs, a push/pull exercise, running laps etc. I did not pass the first time around and I was crushed. I am now motivated more than ever to lose weight and to be in shape. Over the course of the past few weeks I have learned that I didn’t have to give up foods that I loved just simply eat them in moderation. Although at times counting calories, and tracking points is a bit annoying, it works. This program not only teaches you what are the good things to eat but also trains you in a way to stay away from things that are a waste. For example, a simple grilled cheese sandwich, when made with white bread and a slice of American cheese would ordinarily be 6 points, where as if you make a grilled cheese with a slice of weight watchers American cheese and two slices of weight watchers whole wheat bread it would only 2 points. (This may seem like gibberish to many but there’s a point system thing, you have a daily points allowance yadda yadda yadda)
Back to the dating aspect of things. Am I simply attracted to skinny guys? Deep down do I secretly like having the extra rolls on me in the relationship? Do I LIKE wearing the sweatpants in the relationship? The answer to all those questions is absolutely not. Out of all the guys I have dated I can’t remember one ever making a comment about my weight. There have been times where I have asked them, and the response would be something along the lines of, “as long as your comfortable”, “you’re just fine the way you are”, ”you could lose a few if you really wanted to”, and finally one I will never get tired of hearing from my current oh so lovely and charming boyfriend, “in my eyes you’re perfect no matter what”. So with that last comment stated you might think, “hey why work at this weight thing now? He really does love you no matter what, who cares if you lose weight?”
Since being in this positive and happy relationship for over a year now I have learned a lot about myself and just about life in general. I have learned that if you want to do something, you have to do it for yourself. Sure you can have motivation from a partner, friend, or family member, but first and foremost you have to want it for you. If you want it bad enough for yourself you can do it. Being in a relationship such as the one I am in now is probably the closest I can get to having my own personal motivational speaker next to me at all times. He pushes me when I want to be pushed, he’s positive when I’m having a bad day or week, and he’s there for me and supports me in absolutely every sense of the word.
It has been challenging too in many ways to be so open with my boyfriend about this because I know that he has never had to deal with being overweight and doesn’t really understand what it feels like not to be able to fit into a pair of jeans, not to mention he’s a guy so its always an emotional rollercoaster for us girls. Honestly, that used to drive me crazy! I didn’t understand how he could sit there and talk to me about my weight when he really didn’t know what I was going through, but as I sat back and actually listened he wasn’t trying to lecture me about eating better or telling me how beautiful I was he was just being there. He was being that supportive rock that I needed in my life so I wouldn’t get so down on myself, a sweet, 6”4’, handsome, nice and slender rock, my rock.
So now I can ask that question again, who wears the sweatpants in your relationship, and for me, I can proudly say that’s me, because I don’t need that mini skirt or dress or tight pair of skinny jeans to make me feel pretty cause I love my curves.