I'd like to discuss a conundrum I've been faced with over the years. The thing about good sex with a partner is that (not all the time, but a lot of the time) it takes practice. So what's to be done when you're not in a regular, committed partnership and can't get in your sex practice time? If you're not getting it on the regular, I find it necessary to have a bag o' tricks up your sleeve to up your bedroom savvy. After all, knowledge is power, and sometimes you don't have luxury of time to figure out the combination to an enjoyable roll in the hay. I like to know what I'm doing in bed, know what makes me happy, an exactly how to communicate that to whoever is lucky enough to wind up in bed with me.
I'm not talking about the 69 hot sex tips you find in Cosmopolitan magazine every month that involve ice, propping yourself up on a pillow, or sticking food in strange orifices. You can't exactly show up in leather chaps on a second date. BUT, there is some research you can do on your own that makes you all the more ready to take an exciting plunge when the time is right.
We all know that masturbating is great. The whole world knows it. No surprises here. But as a woman, masturbating is incredibly crucial in helping you figure out the right formula for gettin' off. The more successful you are at knowing what tickles you right, the more likely you are to be able to communicate that to a partner and have a grand old time in the sack. Because let's be perfectly honest with ourselves. If you don't know how to crack your own code, you're going to have a hell of a time having a newbie figure it out on the fly. Of course, you have to be comfortable enough to make your point, but I think that kind of ownership over your sexual happiness lends itself to the necessary confidence. Plus a person who knows what they want and can communicate it gently and effectively makes their partner's job a whole lot easier and everything much more pleasurable for everyone involved.
What it boils down to is that good sex takes practice at first, no matter how connected you are to your partner. Knowing what you like in the bedroom and being able to openly and honestly share that with another person is 80% of the battle. The number one way to accomplish that is by doing a little recon on your own time and getting pretty damn comfortable with yourself. Plus, no one will deny that a bit of sassy assertiveness in the bedroom is totally hot.
I would like to state, for the record, that I always take the utmost precaution when having sex. Use condoms, people. Ain't nothing worth the stress of what comes from trusting anyone but yourself. And I stand by that. It's like my mom used to say for no good reason that I can discern, 'Herpes is forever.' Wear a condom when you have the sex.
And here are two amazing videos. I couldn't pick just one. They're both too brilliant.