Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Jenna: Taking Things for Granted

Oh, Three Rivers Jackson. You know when your friends are in a band in college and you think they are just the bees knees? Like so talented. Then you brush the dust off that CD a few years later and have a listen...and realize that every song on the album has a 30 second bass solo.

Though 3RJ did not sell a million records with this approach (they were ahead of their time), I do agree with Kat on the merits of thinking outside of the box. Trying not to assume that just because something isn't what you're used to, it might just be good for you.

Much like the produce aisle, the pool of singles is expansive, often frighteningly so. There are so many kinds of people with vastly different backgrounds, interests, and occupations, it often seems easier, when dating, to stick with what you know. And I'm starting to think that this is why, even though I'm constantly meeting new people, I rarely see much dating potential in anyone.

I think my problem is that my focus is too narrow! I am only drawn to the types of guys I'm familiar with (much like spinach and lettuce- safe because you know what you're getting into) instead of opening my mind to other possibilities. For example, I was going to a friend's party last weekend and another friend emailed me mentioning that she wanted me to meet a single friend of her boyfriend who she was going to bring to the party. She described him has a cool, clean cut guy currently taking the bar to become a lawyer and working for the dept. of corrections in the meantime. So far, this guy does not sound like my type. She goes on to mention he has a motorcycle, attempting to play up a wild side. This makes things slightly better. I wrote her back that it sounded like a plan (though still uncertain) and tried to convince myself that there was no harm in meeting someone new, even if he turned out to be lame.

But to be perfectly honest, it was over before it began. I'm the kind of girl that dates artists, actors, musicians (and when I'm really desperate, comedians). That very special group of guys who have no shortage of burning passion, right alongside a complete lack of maturity, paralyzing fear of commitment, and approximately $15 in their savings account. I like guys that stay up too late and drink too much. A lawyer with a trust fund just sounded too far out of my comfort zone (even one with a motorcycle). How could I possibly have anything in common with someone who seems so unlike the type I'm usually attracted to? The conversation would be forced and polite, awkward at best. It's the way I feel about lawyers, financiers, accountants or anyone else who works in a cubicle.

So, of course the guy didn't have a snowman's chance in hell. It was brief and awkward and I was unforgiveably rude. I was totally unwilling to try something new. Lesson learned? Maybe. I think I might be pleasantly surprised if I could learn to open my mind a little. Besides, the real, human part of me would much rather be somebody's girlfriend and respected companion than a fly-by-night muse. I hear the benefits are better.

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