It's kind of intense (and very scary) to walk straight into something that you know might not be successful. There are certain situations that demand a bit of boldness along with a sense of neutrality about the outcome.
A recent experience comes to mind. I met a guy recently. He was an actor/writer working on a play with a my friend; talented (read: sexy) articulate, charming, the works. We hit it off from the beginning. Get drunk at a bar, go on a postcarding adventure, have a swell old fashioned good time. My curiousity is piqued...this could get interesting.
It didn't take long for him to come clean about the catch, though: he's about a week and a half away from leaving the city for more than a month. Things obviously can't go anywhere at the moment. This is lousy. I hang out with him a few more times anyway...knowing full well that this brief liaison is pretty much a waste of my time. He goes his way, I go mine. No harm, no foul, but no fireworks either.
BUT, in retrospect...I'm happy for the experience, and even about the outcome. Was the result of our brief and exciting flirtation successful? Yes and no. It's been quite a long time since I'd met anyone who excited me this way. I dug him and he made me laugh, but most importantly he made me realized that somewhere along the way, I'd lowered my standards.
I've been expecting the guys I meet to have one or two qualities I appreciate and forgiving them all of those unsightly things that make us less than compatible. I figure they'll grow on me, or I'll get bored and it's just a matter of time either way. This dude reminded me that it's perfectly fine to be picky; that I am no dating beggar and the choices are all mine.
And in a city that's as fast paced as this one, where free social time is a luxury, it seems silly to waste time on anyone that's less than spectacular. I'm a busy woman, after all.