Thursday, September 3, 2009

Jenna: Having Sex with an Ex Is Like Eating Sushi from Yesterday

Everybody does it every once in awhile. You break up with someone and a few months/weeks/ days find yourself kind of drunk, very horny, and seriously considering calling that person you so recently swore off forever for a late night booty call. I'm almost always a little drunk when it happens and the fearsome barren land of zero prospects before me coupled with the appeal of instant gratification leads me to believe that this is the most logical choice. But in a moment of brief and sober clarity, I will share with you this wise analogy that may make you think twice next time you go to drunk dial that guy/girl whose number is now saved in your cell as 'crap on my heart'.

Having sex with your ex is like eating sushi from yesterday. You know you shouldn't do it, that you're not really supposed to eat leftover sushi. But, it was only yesterday that you ate it the first time, you remember how delicious it was, and you figure that so little time has passed that it can't be that much worse, right? Definitely not enough time for it to have spoiled completely. Additionally, its right there in your fridge, waiting for you when you get hungry, zero work required. It takes a lot more effort to make yourself fresh food and time/money to order something else. You're lazy and you want satisfaction now, this seems like the best idea. It can't be that bad. You convince yourself that tossing it out would be wasteful, even.

Lies. Madness and lies. Here's why, after all is said and done, the sex and leftover sushi are both bad ideas. Its never going to be as good as the first time around, when you first ordered your meal at the nice restaurant and it was served to you in all of its decadent glory. Never. No matter how hungry you are or how much you want it to be the same. You're a day late and a buck short and you'll have to settle for what's left. It might even ruin whatever nice memories you'd retained from the first time you'd eaten it as you realize that this present experience is somewhat unsatisfying. On that note, you only have a few pieces of sushi left! Definitely not enough for a whole meal. And even if you eat it and its not so bad, there is no way that the tiny portion remaining is going to satisfy your hunger. When you're done, you'll still be hungry and frustrated that your appetite remains unsated. You'll find yourself craving more, which isn't readily available as technically you've finished you're allotted portion. In terms of ex sex, this can lead to some very unsavory behavior in the form of reigniting a relationship that for all intents and purposes, you ended for a good reason. Thus, partaking in this sushu, dwindling and past its prime can truly only end in disappointment. At least that's been my experience. Toss that shit in the trash...its already past its prime.

After much consideration, I've found that its a better idea to suck it up, scrape up some cash and what's left of your dignity and just try something new. Even if its not the best meal you've ever had, you're avoiding certain frustration by not moving backwards, and you never know...the next thing you order might totally hit the spot. The possibility of discovering your new,fresh, favorite food is worth a little extra effort on your part isn't it?

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